Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.
“Slutantions” has me crying laughing
i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.
“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry
love,
blue”
the subject line was “OW”
THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”
As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.
See, a scientist makes a little moisture sensor sensor for his plant to remember to water it.
But a mad scientist chooses that kind of audio.
Put this guy in castle Heterodyne, and they'd be best friends.
would you guys like to see the greatest beanie baby poem ever written
For the record, this is runner:
Not at all what I thought it would be.
Exactly what I thought it would be.
Do Not call me a liar on my own post again!
It is a real poem! And it is magnificent.
Sorry wait, is "mean" an entire category of Beanie Baby poem??
You've heard of Earth is space australia now get ready for: Earth is the space Amazon Rainforest. Aliens land on Earth and they are losing their goddamn minds because every square inch of the ground is absolutely PACKED with life like there are hundreds of species just in this one site, there are winged animals flying through the sky and multiple colonies of sophisticated social insects just in the shadow of their ship, this ONE ROCK is covered in MULTIPLE SPECIES OF ORGANISMS that are themselves MULTIPLE ORGANISMS LIVING SYMBIOTICALLY, the tall, woody autotrophs look so different from each other because they're...holy shit that's like 5, 6, 7???? different species on this one site???
they start talking to a human and the human is like "haha yeah that's a crow!" and the alien researcher is like "you called it a 'bird' earlier, is that a different name?" and the human is like "oh a crow is just one species of bird, there's like, 10 others out there"
"On this planet?"
"No, in the back yard right now."
imagine aliens that come from a tidally locked planet where only a thin band of the planet is habitable, or a planet life was only able to develop in small areas at the poles, or in the few pools of liquid water on the planet's surface, or just in isolated areas where geologic activity causes geysers and springs, visiting Earth. They seem completely unprepared for the shock of realizing that Earth's continents appear green because the continents are absolutely covered with green organisms.
The alien biologists are so uncomfortable because there are certain protocols for maintaining certain distances from life signatures to avoid harming unfamiliar organisms, and groves of plant like autotrophs and pools where aquatic life dwells are carefully protected and respected, with very important rules for approach
On Earth, the inhabitants are just. Playing and walking LITERALLY STEPPING ON CARPETS OF ORGANISMS the whole time. the aliens are like "it doesn't hurt them??? Can't you just...move them to a place where you don't have to step on them?" and the humans are like "no of course not, grasses evolved to tolerate being stepped on, and besides, more plants would grow there if we tried to move the existing ones"
It then must be explained that humans would need to regularly spray poisons on the ground to prevent any given area of bare soil from filling up with plant life, and that "regularly" means "multiple times within a single solar cycle." And that the poisons stop working within a few decades because the plants evolve to resist them that fast.
Human: yeah solar is the dominant energy source these days but some of the recent solar farm projects are pretty controversial because they're in reclaimed strip mining sites that others argue should be restored as best as we can to their previous ecological state
Alien: I don't understand...why would you not place the solar farms in an area of the planet with no existing ecosystem?
Human: ...what?
Alien: You have rather sophisticated protective gear and have done some space exploration, surely you could establish them in an area of the planet to which life is not yet adapted?
Human: ...there isn't one.
Alien: ...what do you mean there isn't one
i need to recreate this truck i saw with my eyes while driving on the highway today gimme a sec
it was like this
found a pic on reddit. 10/10 for accuracy
Since, in true Celtic fashion, I’m gonna start saying “it’s too hot” today, here’s the perfect poll…
When is it “too hot” to you (& where are you from)?
15°C (59°F) or higher
20°C (68°F) or higher
22°C (71°F) or higher
25°C (77°F) or higher
27°C (80°F) or higher
30°C (86°F) or higher
32°C (89°F) or higher
35°C (95°F) or higher
38°C (100°F) or higher
Other
Reblog & put your answers in the tags because I’m curious and need to know I’m not suffering alone
Trumpeter Ernestine ‘Tiny’ Davis and saxophonist Willie Mae ‘Rabbit’ Wong traveling with the International Sweethearts on a European USO tour.
via @sashayed #babes #friends #history #important 2 know louis armstrong followed tiny davis around for years being like pleeeease play with me….pls #& she was like sorry satch. can’t do it. busy starting a club called Tiny and Ruby’s Hell Divin Women with my hot pianist wife
for my followers there’s a whole documentary about tiny & ruby, which won the 1989 SF Lesbian and Gay Film Festival audience favorite award! you can buy it from the producers for $3.99 here or stream it from your local library if they have kanopy here :)
here’s tiny and ruby, her partner of 40+ yrs. love them, love queer love
